good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
