id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
