Do you still have your period?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.