she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth