Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(410): View more from Maryland

He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.

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(207): View more from Maine

No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.

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(480): View more from Arizona

So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.

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(512): View more from Texas

I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.

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