butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
