There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Who died my cat blue again?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
