Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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