sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
