we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
