He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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