clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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