Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize