Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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