i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
