I bet he comes in French.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
