Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
