let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
