I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
