Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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