Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
