I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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