Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
