We won't sleep together?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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