Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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