Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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