Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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