Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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