dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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