i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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