this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
