I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
