I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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