your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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