i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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