I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I deserve this hangover.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
