I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's shark week go big or go home
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize