Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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