My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
