Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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