some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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