need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
