More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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