super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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