How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
