Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
