Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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