She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize