All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
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hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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