I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
