I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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