Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize