My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize