Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
