If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
