He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
