if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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