im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
