I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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