i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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