Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
