I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
