Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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