Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
