the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
